Lost Ones

I thought it was a dream, I thought it wasn't real
But pain really hurts and it's really how I feel
Memories keep coming back, and so do all of the tears
I hear your voice, and as quick as the smile came, it quickly disappears
I don't know what is happening, because you always held my hand

You said you would never let go, that is what I don't understand
So many promises you made, and more of them broken
Lost and confused, feels like I'm choking
A lot of things I did not say
Now I can't find my way

I feel like a boomerang, you throw me but not only that
Every time you throw me, I always seem to come back
Back to you, back to pain
Nothing has changed, you're still the same. I cannot start over because I don't know where to start. I guess that is what happens when someone breaks your heart
If we are supposed to follow our dreams, why can't I follow you
Because now I am so lost, I wish you were lost without me too

Broken Ones

There's a cold dark corner
in the back of my room,
it speaks to me
and says I'm coming for you.

As I lie on my bed
in the fetal position,
my eyes are closed
hoping and wishing.

Maybe that one day
my dreams will come true,
that I don't have to be here
so down and blue.

The corner keeps talking
about how I'm going to die,
all I can do
is lie there and cry.

As the corner gets closer
and takes me in,
my soul starts to burn
as so does my skin.

My bones shall lie there
turning to dust,
my bed surrounding
nothing but rust.

Every Closed Door

How could I be so lost,
In a place I know so well?
How could I be so broken,
In a family so together?
How could I be so lonely,
Surrounded by so many?
How could I be so unhappy,
Surrounded by so much beauty?
How could I be me,
When even I remain a mystery?

Are You Happy With Yourself?

My eyes close
I'm holding onto
my memories
and hatred.
my slumber
all alone in my head...
so silent.

I can't explain the way
my tears run blood along my veins
if I let go of my pain
I'll cease to be, give into the plague...

war is coming,
I can hear it in my heart
blood will flow
along the grounds of the innocent,
I can't deceive
the darkness anymore...
I'm letting go, I'm losing control of myself...

you beat me down,
so low and now
I'm crying my soul
I'm losing control.
you led me to
a place where I
can't feel my face...

death is just an anesthetic
for what's to come
a body left behind with no face
feeling numb
all alone I cry here
fading into nothing
all alone I lie here
dying...

...losing myself...

Deeper Waves

One does not own beauty,
One creates it.
In their dreams
They feel they can obtain it.

All alone, in a dark nights 
rest.
All their thoughts.....
Lifeless.

Cursed by change
Hidden by lies,
Running from the truth
Beauty now dies.

They don't understand
They don't really care.
Beauty now burns
Smoke in the air.

Years go by
And age seeps in.
Beauty's worn out
Life is giving in.

Death creeps up,
Beauty now cries.
You're all alone
In your beautiful lies!

The First Time

come when pain
Becomes too much to take.
I come when you're sad,
Or your heart starts to break. 
I might come when you panic,
I might come when you're mad.
I'll show up here and there,
When enough is what you've had.

I'm salty and warm,
I might be big or small. 
Sometimes when you're strong,
I don't come up at all. 
I fill your eyes with moisture, 
I roll down your cheek. 
Sometimes I mean joyous,
Sometimes I mean weak. 

Sometimes when you're scared,
I come as a sign of fear.
You can feel when I'm coming,
Whether far or near. 
I may come along
When you hear your favorite song.
Sometimes I show up
When you've been strong for too long. 

I know you want to fly away.
I know inside you're a mess.
You long for a brighter day.
Tears are words the heart can't express.

Questioning Myself

I lay in bed alone at night and wonder why I'm here.
I do so much for everyone 
Why don't they show they care?
I met this girl who said she loved me 
something I haven't heard in so long.
She used me for my money 
what a ride she took me on.
There is so much hurt I feel, so much anger trapped inside.
Sometimes I wish my dad was here, but to me he's not alive.
I have no one to talk to
These drugs seem to be the only way
Turns out it's a lie just like the smile I put on each and everyday.
I know outside I'm smiling, It's the face I fake for you,
But inside my soul is crying and there is nothing I can do.
I know my family loves me, 
I'm there when their decisions are poor. 
I'm sick of feeling like this walked on rug thrown upon the floor.
I lay in bed and wonder what the hell I'm doing here
Can I wake up from this dream?
Can I please just disappear?